www.chrisdarbro.com – Chris Darbro

GRRRR.

yeah that pretty much sums me up right now. except I dont even have the energy to let out a ‘grr’. Im just exhausted. Im physically exhausted and my body aches everywhere. and I’m emotionally exhausted. I’m just done. I dont know. I dont really know a whole lot of anything anymore. I know I find myself feeling like someone’s personal board game piece lately, just a part of someone’s game to be played with how they please. and while im venting, let me get this out of the way. the dating game/scene/whatever the hell you want to call it, sucks. I stopped dating anyone for something like 9 months, thinking it was a good idea, it was best for me, would help me get my life back on track from where it was, etc. sure it kinda did that, but it was still bad for me, in the sense that something happened in that huge absence of dating, because I just dont know what the hell to do anymore. I can’t read anyone, or their signals, assuming there are any. To the very few out there that might be wanting to date me or whatever for god knows what possible reason, here’s some advice. be blunt with me. just absolutely as blunt as blunt can be. I cant play the game anymore, sorry, I dont know how, and as fo recently, I just dont have the energy anymore. Right now im pretty sure I’d be content just staying in this bed for the next 5 years without seeing or talking to anyone. I’m sorry im a pain in the ass with everyone right now, believe me it’s no fun for me either. and the past couple of weeks I just feel completely empty, and that’s gotta be one of the most depressing things in the world. With people in my life, things in my life, etc, it just feels likelately I’ve been riding this rollercoaster over and over again. and there’s just so much riding I can take before I gotta get off of it. *sigh*. anyway, im just venting, breathing, whatever to myself, anytime I publish a serious blog post 4 or 5 people message me semi-concerned, and while it’s appreciated, if anyone reading this is thinking of doing that, or commenting, or whatever, just dont. Doesnt matter who you are, Just dont. intrepret it how you want to, do what you want about it, just dont talk to me about it, sorry, but I just dont have the energy to discuss the blog post with anyone. I know I’ll have better days, dont worry, things just…suck right now. and Im drained. so I think Im headin to bed. Maybe after I’ve slept on this I’ll remove this post in the morning, who knows, but im not ashamed of what I write ever, so I usually dont take posts down even if I should. meh. nite.